


Deux Fantômes

by losinghome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, also The Smiths, and too many song references, its incredibly self indulgent, this is just a late night conversation between Harry and Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 04:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11223336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losinghome/pseuds/losinghome
Summary: “I think, when we’re apart, that we’re nothing more than two ghosts, drifting in the vast emptiness of the world. We’re neither here nor there, we’re just lost, searching, waiting, trying to remember what it feels like to be alive and breathing with our hearts beating,” Louis rambles, “We are two ghosts, and you are my heartbeat.”Harry chuckles fondly, so deeply in love with Louis that he could cry, “And what are we when we’re together my lovely creature?”“Supernovas and collisions in the night sky.”+ a self indulgent late night conversation between two lovesick boyfriends.





	Deux Fantômes

**Author's Note:**

> I Know It's Over by The Smiths  
> You're My Favorite Waste of Time by Marshall Crenshaw  
> La vie en rose by Edith Piaf  
> Violets by Teen Suicide  
> Novels by Rusty Clanton  
> 

“I’m stupidly in love with you,” Harry mumbled, pulling Louis closer to his chest. A sleepy hum is Louis’ only response, basking in the solidarity and comfort he feels, reveling in the tight hold Harry has on him.

_I Know it's Over_ by The Smiths plays softly from the record player sitting atop of their dresser, Harry’s choice. The heavy bass drifts through the silence, filling the empty corners of their bedroom. Harry hums along as he runs his fingers absentmindedly through Louis’ hair, the locks growing long and tangled and very much in need of a wash. Harry doesn't mind. He loves the feeling anyways, and he knows it calms Louis down at the best of times. Tomorrow morning, when they’re still dazed with sleep and lovely dreams of happy futures, they can climb into the shower together, peaceful and warm. Harry can wash Louis’ hair and take pride in the content and happy hums of appreciation.

“ _Sad veiled bride, please be happy. Handsome groom, give her room. Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly_ ,” Harry sings, his voice deep and nothing more than a whisper, clouded with exhaustion. Outside, the world is still. The summer heat had set in earlier that month, leaving even the latest hours absent of wind. The fan above their heads spins rapidly at the highest setting, and their duvet lays on the floor, long ago abandoned with the pile of clothes they’d stripped off once settling into bed. Despite the high temperatures, Harry hadn’t bothered protesting when Louis crawled into his lap and wrapped himself around him, both only in their boxers. He simply held the boy close and laid them both down to rest. Half an hour later, however, and sleep seemed to be far from both of their minds. The world may be quiet and at rest, but they remain awake and aware.

The vinyl let out small crackles as it spun around, the song now picking up in rhythm and energy but still just as comforting as before to the tired couple.

“Do you think our souls mirror one another?”

“Come again?”

Louis yawned, rubbing his closed eye with the back of his hand as he tried to explain his sleep driven thoughts, “Like twin flames, a bond between two people that’s intense and beyond words, more than a soulmate, practically a carbon copy of each other destined to be one. Do you think that’s us?”

“Perhaps darling, though honestly, that sounds terrifyingly stressful to maintain,” Harry murmured, letting his head loll closer to Louis’.

“Yes, a little I suppose. Is our relationship stressful?”

Harry frowned, not minding the stream of questions, but not fully knowing how to answer either.

“Sometimes.”

“It’s worth it though, yeah?”

“Always.”

He really means it. Harry knows relationships aren't easy. They aren't meant to be, even ones destined by the stars. Relationships take teamwork and trust and commitment. They need safety and solidarity and comfort on both ends. Harry thinks he's found that in Louis. Holding him, touching him, loving him, Harry is certain that this is home to him, that Louis is home to him.

“I think, when we’re apart, that we’re nothing more than two ghosts, drifting in the vast emptiness of the world. We’re neither here nor there, we’re just lost, searching, waiting, trying to remember what it feels like to be alive and breathing with our hearts beating,” Louis rambles, “We are two ghosts, and you are my heartbeat.”

Harry chuckles fondly, so deeply in love with Louis that he could cry, “And what are we when we’re together my lovely creature?”

“Supernovas and collisions in the night sky,” Louis responds almost immediately. He looks up at Harry, tilting his head from where it's rested on his chest. Harry isn't looking at him, his gaze foggy and focused elsewhere, clearly far too deep in thought. Louis lifted a hand and booped Harry on the nose in hopes of gaining back his attention.

“Hm?”

“Where'd you go?”

“Just thinking,” Harry replied, a small smile appearing on his face, this one different than the last. This one was softer and fonder, almost sickeningly lovestruck. Louis wrapped their hands together, resting them on the left side of Harry’s chest where the pounding of his heart could be felt. He watched their intertwined fingers move up and down as his heart pumped blood, proof that he's alive and well. Nothing could make Louis happier.

“Enlighten me?”

“It's dumb."

"It's about me, isn't it?" Louis asked, a cocky grin playing at his lips. He already knew the answer.

"You, I don't get you. You make my heartbeat slow and the world spin ‘round. Nowhere am I more at peace than when I'm holding you or being held by you,” Harry spoke softly, heart swelling in the way Louis’ eyes lit up and face flushed pink, “I want to marry you someday.”

“Oh, is that so?” Louis raised an eyebrow, trying not to look too affected. He squirmed around a bit, scooting up to hide his face in the crevice between Harry’s neck and shoulder. He felt the rumble of Harry’s laughter and heard his intakes of breath. Quickly and gently, he placed a light kiss on the skin beneath his own.

“It's a pleasant thought, isn't it? Maybe we'll get married in a church, you and me standing at the altar, hands together,” he gave Louis’ hand a gentle squeeze, “Or maybe we'll have an outdoor wedding.”

“Or, we can get married on a boat,” Louis spoke up, his voice loud in Harry’s ear due to the proximity, “Imagine that. Surrounded by the ocean, the smell of sea salt, and the sun hitting us just right for those dream wedding photos that we can show off to all of our friends.”

“Someone could get seasick, a beach might be the better way to go.”

“True,” Louis agreed, “A beach it is then. The two of us, all gussied up by the shoreline, our family members all secretly wishing for the ceremony to end so they can get away from that dreadful sand and obnoxious wind.”

“It'd be beautiful nevertheless.”

“The wedding of the century,” Louis proclaimed, his voice rising ever so slightly, still weak and lacking energy.

“Indeed.”

They laid in silence for a moment. Louis smiled to himself, face still pressed to Harry’s neck, his body heat a pleasant reminder that this is real. Harry exists and he's choosing to spend his time here with Louis, doing nothing and thinking of everything. He finds comfort in knowing that Harry is alive. Each intake of breath, each pump of blood, it keeps Louis safe, happy even.

The song had switched at some point, going unnoticed by both of them. _Never Had No One Ever_ played, bringing a sad urgency into the atmosphere. With a grunt and reluctant protests from Louis as he was forced to roll over on his back, Harry stumbled over to the record player and stopped the album from continuing. The vinyl was placed back into its case and slid back onto their shelf to join their growing collection. When he turned around, he saw Louis making grabby hands at him, pouting cutely.

“ _Harry_ ,” he whined.

“Baby, no need to beg, I’m right here.” _For as long as you’ll have me._

“Mine?” Louis spoke through a yawn, his arms stretching out and his back arching as he tried to get comfortable. He resembled something like a kitten.

“Yes, of course, even when our hair turns grey and we’re all diseased,” Harry smiled, lifting Louis’ delicate frame up and back into his arms. Louis grunted at the sudden action but complied nevertheless.

“You better not go and die before me. We’ll be like that old couple at the end of The Notebook. Nothing else is acceptable,” Louis grumbled, his arms tightening around Harry.

“Obviously, mirrored souls and whatnot,” Harry chuckled, “But don’t dwell on that darling. We’re still young, we have many lifetimes left to live together.” And in a sense, it’s true. Though he likes to entertain Louis’ beliefs and constant wonderment with fate and destiny, Harry doesn't believe in soulmates. The idea that someone was created for the one single purpose of completing another person is selfish and quite frankly a bit unhealthy. Even so, everything about Harry and Louis seemed so beyond everything to have ever existed. No matter what storyline and no matter what universe, there is Harry and Louis figuring things out with a promise of forever. No matter what questions, what choices, no matter what life they lived separately, it would always come down to these two boys falling in love.

“Still, the world wouldn’t feel right without you and I.”

Harry kissed his forehead, his nose, his lips. Kissing him felt safe. Here in their bedroom he found a sanctuary. His hand fell to Louis’ waist, the skin warm and familiar under his touch. Louis’ lips against his own was something of a miracle. Soft and pliant, comforting, like coming back home after a long, tired day.

He pulled back to speak, “Sweet creature, you are something else.”

Louis stared back at him, the light from the outside world seeping through their window and hitting Harry’s face. His hair swept across his forehead, curly and untamable. It was soft in Louis’ hand, and he let himself tug at it gently, pulling slightly before brushing his fingers through the long strands. Harry melted into his touch, looking as though he wanted to purr in satisfaction. Louis initiated their kiss this time, but he kept it short, his mind still running wild with questions and ideas of the future.

“Do you want it all with me? Am I someone you want to grow old with, get married to, even someday start a family with?”

Harry gave a small nod, “All it costs is your heart and your future.”

“That’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Louis’ heart skipped with admiration. From the start Harry had always been more than just a concept to Louis. He wasn't an idea, not for a second. Harry is raw and open and Louis has a front row view into his brain and his heart and his lungs. It's hard to fall in love with the idea of someone when they've always been more than a grainy picture on a rainy day. Harry began as a favorite song, a first tattoo, a breakdown after a death of a close friend. He was so incredibly surreal, it almost scared Louis. Even so, he accepts this love with open arms. He gave up on running away long ago. Whatever happens, he’ll take full responsibility. This reality, this boy, is so incredibly worth any hardships they must endure together.

“Someday,” Harry started, “We’ll live in a house with enough room to house the both of us, and as the years pass, empty rooms will be turned into nurseries, and the nurseries will be turned into proper bedrooms for the little ones to run around in and fill with toys and memories. It’ll be a family home, perfect for our own.”

“And a dog?”

“Of course.”

“A big one, with curly fur to match yours,” Louis joked, “He’ll be clumsy too, that way, I’ll have two big oafs to keep me company.”

“That’s the dream,” Harry sighed. Louis couldn't agree more. 

The longer they lay their in each other’s arms, the more at ease their bodies grew and the calmer their thoughts. Simultaneously, their breathing slowed. Louis listened to the thump, thump, thump of Harry’s heart.

Some day, they'll be old and their bones will be frail brittle things. Some day, their hearts will lose rhythm and their consciousness will cease to exist, and they'll be sent into a sleep so deep they'll never wake again. That's some day. Right here, right now, they're together, they're alive, they're happy.

With a deep intake of breath, Louis closed his eyes for a brief moment and just listened. The fan shook rapidly, the apartment creaked and groaned, and the organ inside Harry's chest pounded a soothing melody, one greater than any song he's ever heard. When he finally opened his eyes, Louis turned his body at an angle and took hold of his boyfriend’s hand without a word, ignoring the questioning look he got. Slowly, he brought Harry's hand to lay flat against his chest where Louis' own heartbeat could be felt. Harry was confused by the gesture, but he said nothing. He felt the pounding beneath the palm of his hand, strong and powerful like the boy who contained it.

“Tu es le battement de mon coeur,” Louis spoke. His french was mediocre at best, but the intent and love behind the words was not weakened despite this, “Thank you for existing and loving me always.” Harry, in his exhausted state, felt a tear slip from his eye. His emotional guard was down, had been the whole night, but now it all felt so overwhelming. He broke into a goofy, lovesick grin as more tears fell down the side of his face and dripped onto the pillow where his head rest.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking a break from my chaptered fic to post this lil one shot. In a sense, this one shot and the fic are the same universe, so this is more of a way for me to get used to writing their relationship dynamic. Much love and hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Tumblr: [losinghome](https://losinghome.tumblr.com)


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